A loveletter was written with all his heart.......but he led go! (the original letter is copied here)

"This is a summery of what I have been thinking today… I didn’t write down all the things I have been thinking and even if I try to do so… I don’t know how many pages that will take… so I’ll be failing to mention a lot of things and you if you really want to know you have to open my heart and see it yourself.

I found an answer today… ever since you have been gone.. I missed you but I didn’t know to what extent… missed you every single moment but didn’t know how to say that in words…

When I was traveling on the tube today.. I was going to send you a text… saying I miss you. Then I thought no that’s not how I miss you… so I typed, “I miss you… I miss YOU… I MISS YOU”

Then I changed my mind again and I started to think how do I really miss you?? Can I say that in words?

And all the way I have been trying to find out the answer. Trying to find out a way if I could really interpret that into words.. or in a sentence.. or in  an essay… so here it goes…

If I say I miss you like crazy that won’t be enough. I have realized since last couple days that I can’t be myself anymore without you. Life doesn’t seem perfect with you. What life seems with you is perfectly balanced. I tried to imagine a life without you today and that seems to be the worst nightmare I have ever seen…

I miss you so much that seems like I have never missed anything in this way in my whole life. I miss you like someone just took my heart and I can’t feel anything. I miss you so much that makes me think that when I see you, I’ll grab you and I’m never gonna let you go. I miss you so much that whenever I get lost in my thoughts… you just pop up in mind… and fill it up… like I have nothing else to think about… and I try to think deeper and deeper and its only you that I find… all the memories… all the places we have been together… everything we have said to each other… every single moment… feels like I can touch it, I can feel it…

Without you I will die one day… but I will never live. (like the quote from the movie ‘Braveheart’, “everyone dies but not everyone lives”)

Every moments I have been with you seems like the first day of autumn. The autumn I have waited for my whole life. I have realized that if what I have for you in my heart is called love… I have never loved something/someone like this before… you have taught me the true meaning of love… the true meaning of belongingness the true meaning of care… u taught me if you love something… go get it… have no fear and have no regrets… I have faced many challenges before… I passed some and I failed some… but none of them meant so much to me… but the challenge I have taken now (i.e. finish my studies and be self reliant).. Seems the very first thing in my life, which I care about the most… because the reward is the most precious thing I could ever ask for… YOU!

Which I will overcome at every cost because it feels like in your hand I have my life.. the life I have always wanted… the life I have always dreamed about.. the life I will never regret about… I know it from the day of London Bridge… because there hasn’t been a single moment that I can’t recall I didn’t live…

And I’m willing to take any challenges that come my way and face it the same way… only knowing you will be with me.

Well now the question comes: What is the life that you have you always dreamed about? And the answer is: A life I have lived every moment of it… with the person who I love the most and knowing that she loves me even more.

To me it seems like you are true motivation I needed in every single step in my life. I have never been so determined like now I feel… never felt so confident the way you made me feel about myself. No one ever said, “Navid, I am proud of you”. You are the first person to say that… and you don’t even know how much it means to me.  No one ever said,

   “ami tomake pagoler moto valobashi…”(I love you like crazy)

..and I didn’t realize the depth of the sentence until day before yesterday. When you made me realize how much you love me when you said, you feel like you have no one in London. You made me realize the true meaning of the mail you sent me through facebook. And when you were acting mad… I felt like someone just turned my whole world upside down… when you said you are not gonna come back felt like how the heck could I send you a text saying goodbye?! I felt like something that is the most precious to me is going to be taken away and I had led that to happen….

I was feeling that “saying you goodbye” is the most expensive mistake of my whole life and I was going to pay the price for rest of my life.

I didn’t know what to do at that time, didn’t know how to get you back… and it was killing me…. But then you gave me another chance… u finally talked to me over the phone… and felt like someone just gave me my life back. And after calming you down.. I felt like I have I have passed the most difficult test in my life. I felt RELEIVED! And I learnt my lesson.

I WILL NEVER EVER EVER LET YOU GO! NEVER!!"